Fruit Flies and Butt Fangs

Despite my irrational fear of insects, I’m still, like, a yellow-belt Buddhist as evidenced by my catch-and-release program for the ones with the butt-fangs that invade my basement and bathrooms…

What’re they called?  Where’s Sofia?  (My 9-year-old would totally kick Bindi Irwin’s butt in a zoology-bee.)

Me (yelling while writing this): “Fi!  What do you call those bugs with the butt fangs?!”

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"SNK." The Sound of Soul Constipation

I am awash in the same sound that your eyeballs are making as they move back and forth across this digital page.

Silence.

Nothing except my fingers tic-tacking away on the keyboard, and the faint smacking-sound of the dog licking his bits somewhere off in the distance.

The pin on the record soundtrack: “Kids on Winter Break” by ‘The Voice in My Head,” has finally been lifted.

(Can we still use record metaphors?)

The Voice in My Head’s smash hit, “Counseling, Cajoling, Consoling, and Complaining” that played like “The Christmas Carol” movie marathon, finally fell silent when I returned home after dumping my kid’s off at school this morning.

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Life Happens Between the To Dos

The alarm went off and my to do list was off to the races like a stock market ticker tape scrolling through my head: the article deadline, the letter to the governor, the power point presentation, the cell phone bill, the speeding ticket, grocery items…

“Oh Crap! We’re out of milk and it’s breakfast time!  Those strawberries didn’t look too moldy, maybe they won’t notice…Can they eat canned tuna for breakfast?  Oh God!  I’m teaching a class this morning!  Ahhhhh!”
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